new title

Friends....for now you will still find my blog at funderburk follies. However, with my upcoming nuptials, I am exploring new possibilities that would not include a last name, seeing as how my last name will be different from my children's. Ugh. Not looking forward to that confusion, but I am looking forward to marrying Steve. For now, I was sitting listening to my ipod and U2's song "Window in the Skies" came on and I started reflecting...Love has truly done some miraculous things in my life and the life of my boys. The love of Christ has allowed me to release hatred and bitterness and actually look back at the last 17 years and cherish the good memories. The love of Christ allows me to walk in forgiveness - toward myself and toward Rob or any other person who has wronged me. The Love of Christ has protected my children and will keep them from becoming statistics. The Love of Christ has healed my heart to love again and brought me Steve, Joe, and Ben. The Love of Christ has restored, renewed, and revived. Oh, can't you see what Love has done? What it's doing to me? That whole song is a wonderful description of what Love has done in my life.

I will keep you all posted if the url address changes. I don't know if I can change that so that I don't loose all the posts, or if I just have to start a new blog... I'll have to contact blogger to find out.

Niederman's Farm (the day Steve asked me to be his bride)

Not a bad "little" family we are all going to make...

A bunch of "posers"... (hee, hee)

Awwww...da widdle soft, fuzzy wabbits

I imagine life is going to feel like this some days with 4 boys in the house together! :)

Christkindlemarkdt and deer feeding...

A fun day as a family out with the Wegmans...

I know a certain person who shall remain nameless (James Brooks) who would love to shoot a deer with a rack like that...
Noah and I enjoyed the deer up close and personal

Ethan liked feeding the babies. He hung on to his carrot for dear life so they wouldn't take the whole thing.

Swinging at Germania Park - Chriskindlemarkdt. Very German and Christmasy - fun! Mom and dad joined us. Love Noah's face here. He's trying to get as high as "bubba" beside him.

There was a fun and very talented marionette puppeteer.

Ben, ever generous, bought both of my boys a little toy at one of the vendor's booths. Noah's was a spinny, light up thing he fondly referred to as "the toy of death". Don't ask...I have NO idea. But we've laughed at that one for a while. A lot like the butt cream comment of months ago. Noah, Noah, Noah...you certainly have a unique perspective on the world! :)

Ah....German pastries.....

Noah the sheep farmer. He actually did a pretty good job brushing this one. They had a petting zoo with very kid-friendly animals and things to do with them (leashes to lead them around on, brushes, etc.)

Ben caught a chicken. Noah tried - they were too fast. Ethan wants to pet them, but doesn't want to hold them.

Ethan is really coming to love Ben a lot. He told me he can't wait until we move in with Ben. LOL! Forget Joe, Steve, the whole marriage thing...he just wants to live with Ben. :)

Thanksgiving

I spent a lot of time reflecting this weekend. Partially because I was actually kid-free for several days allowing me the luxury to just sit and think. Another part was because my fiance Steve was also kid-free for a couple of days so I was able to spend many hours with him just talking and hanging out.

I am overwhelmed at God's provision, His mercy, His plan. When Steve and I compare our stories and our timeline, there are so many things that point to God having our backs that it simply is amazing. Seems our spouses began their betrayals within months of each other. Mine took longer to come clean, but their hearts left their God and their families around the same time. And now I can look at so many little steps, decisions made, events, words spoken to me from times of prayer...all gently leading me here. To this time. To this place. To this person Steve.

I had a good marriage. So did Steve. Both of us poured our hearts and souls into the relationship and the family...and it wasn't enough for our respective spouses. Nothing would have been. They left in spite of our best, in spite of our surrender to Christ and our utter commitment and loyalty to them. Some people just can't handle that kind of love I suppose. But now we are free to express that to one another. And I cannot begin to tell you the difference...the difference in Steve's response to my expressions of love to him, the difference in how he expresses his love to me. Surely this is the mystery referred to in the Bible - how marriage reflects the love of Christ towards His church, His people.

It helps me to not feel as much anger and hurt towards Rob. Honestly, I feel so sorry for him...and for Steve's ex. Oh, what they are missing out on! Any anger I feel now stems more from the pain the children experience - I don't see it outright in my two since they were little when Rob left and are still rather little. But I see and hear the struggle first hand in Joe and Ben. My heart just aches for all of them and I have to remember that God can and does use pain...if it can bring these 4 boys to Christ, or make their hearts more in tune with His, then so be it. Ultimately, our pain and our trials here are nothing compared to the glory that awaits us if we allow Christ to purge, mold, work in us...even through tears.

I hope and pray that while Steve is not Ethan and Noah's dad, and I am not Joe and Ben's mom, that the two of us will reflect Christ in our relationship and our relationships with them so much so to ease some of the pain of loosing 1/2 of their biological parents. If we can model a Christ centered life, and a Christ centered relationship, and a Christ centered family, and allow Christ to use us as His hands and feet towards our children to ease some of their suffering and restore their hope and security, then that will truly be an honor.

As I reflected this weekend, God brought to my remembrance several prophetic words given me in the summer and fall of 07, and allowed me some new confirmations that I am on the right path. That joining families with the Wegman's is pleasing to Him and will bring Him glory. Sigh. God is so good. His mercy ENDURES FOREVER. I can say that now, at this point in my life, I am just beginning to understand that I will never fully understand it. God's love and grace and mercy - the Word speaks of how deep, unfathomable, mysterious, unconditional, everlasting it all is. How human eyes have not seen and ears have not heard and minds have not comprehended the richness and completeness of God. It makes me long for Heaven and to be in His presence. Maranatha, Lord Jesus!

fyi: concerning updates

I had saved some posts that I started way back as drafts. finished them this weekend and learned that drafts post wherever you start them... so there are a few new entries back in September that you might have missed...

Late, I know. But here is our Fall Festival/Halloween pics...

My mom's facility always has a trick or treat the week before and the kids really enjoy it... Ethan and Noah were pirates this year. Mostly because I thought it would be cute...and I found pirate accessories at the dollar store!
Always a treat to have cousins join! These are my sister, Holly's kids...Drew, Brianna, and Destiny.

For Halloween night, our church has a big festival. Ethan tied his shoes for the first time! Thanks, Steve, for the encouragement!

Both boys wanted their faces painted...I talked them into continuing with the pirate theme...

I just love their pirate faces! These are going to be great graduation or wedding photos! :) (evil laugh...yes...you KNOW I would!)

Cox Arboretum and Wright Patterson AFB Museum

Area 51?

Inside a cargo plane

always with the bunny ears...