And now for my first trick...

...juggling 3 Christmas dinners and 5 Christmas programs in 10 days....

Here are some highlights. Not necessarily in the correct order. First, we have Noah's preschool program.

Noah was the only boy man enough to wear the entire angel costume. And he sang louder than all the other angels. Course, I also think he was the cutest.

Next, Ethan's school program. They sang about 5 different songs and did movements. He started to get upset when he dropped his instrument during one song, but, like a true thespian, never let the audience know. I didn't notice until he told me. Course, I was arguing with the picture and the video camera, both who didn't want to work for me that night....grrrr....

Here we are at one of the dinners.

Noah found a cubby to climb in.
Not really sure what Ethan is doing...I think he got hot running around and playing and is trying to cool off at the fan. You will have to ask him...I just thought it was funny. PLUS it will be great blackmail when he get's older.

Lastly (in this montage) - Christmas at our church. This is Ethan and Noah with their cousins Elizabeth and Abby - Tom and Melissa's girls.

I have some video footage of the programs Ethan and Noah were in. I'll post them shortly, but really only grandmas and grandpas will probably be interested... :)

Thanksgiving '08

One of the biggest blessings about moving back to Ohio is reconnecting with my family. Know what? I got a great family. Oh, we have our quirks, but who else can say they grew up so close to such extended family. I mean, I not only had my grandparents around all the time, I had cousins, aunts, uncles, and friends that might as well have been family. And we are all friends. Even when there is tension...we are friends. And it's wonderful...


I remember many times riding on Poppies back as " Ol' Tob"...my "horsey". And Grannie always had cookies and chocolate milk for me - and was either cooking or quilting. I'm glad to be celebrating another Thanksgiving with them.


Grandma Bertha has amazed me. She, too, always had something delicious to eat and all of us kids loved spending the night in the feather beds upstairs. We'd play 'apartments' - converting the bedrooms upstairs to our own little homes. We'd also roller skate or ride our bikes around the basement - it was always that clean and uncluttered. I am so proud of the way she has not only survived, but even flourished after the death of my grandpa. I know she misses him, but she didn't let that make her stop living. She has inspired me.

After dinner with the family in Ohio, we took off to meet the Funderburk's in Gatlinburg again. This time we were joined by my mom and dad, and by Uncle Philip...The boys were so excited!

We found out that my Brother, Sister-in-law, and their kids were in Gatlinburg the same weekend with the Powell's (my Sister-in-law's parents). So we all met up for an evening together at the Dixie Stampede. It was great fun. Ethan got to participate in the chicken chase and Brandon and I were chosen to race the stick horses. Yep. Our showchoir training came through - we were in step together. And we won. Thank you, Chris Beiser!!!! :)

Here is Ethan with cousin's Lexi and Desi. Lexi and Ethan are peas in a pod. Desi is the perfect little mother to Noah...he loves her doting on him!

It wouldn't be right not to get a few candids. This is my boys just chillin' and watching TV. They can't do it without some sort of "flourish"...(can't imagine where they get that from...)

It just feels right to be home again. I miss my friends and my church in MN, but I don't miss the situation, the winter weather, the loneliness... THIS is sooooo much better for me and for my boys.

Another Noah-ism

Didn't anticipate this one...

I've tried to avoid the whole "Santa" thing with Christmas. Not his existence, mind you... but the whole idea of lying to my children about a magical man who distributes gifts and his being the center of Christmas. I've really tried (albeit rather unsuccessfully so far) to instruct my children in the real meaning of the holiday and the faith focus it should have, as well as the "better to give" mentality and the importance of gratitude. So, from the start, I have told them the story of St. Nicholas and how adults dress up like him every year to pay tribute to his life, which was a tribute to Christ. Both of my boys know that mommy is "Santa" and why.

Tonight, however, the restaurant we ate in had a Santa and was letting the kids get pictures with him. For the first time ever, both of my boys were interested in getting their photo with the dude in the red fuzzy suit (probably because we were eating with some Santa believing cousins). Afterwards, Noah told me that I was NOT the real Santa. I was fake...because I didn't have a beard and I didn't have hair on my belly (I think he was referring to the suit... of course, I'm very glad to have a belly free of hair).

Not sure what the moral here is. All I know is I'm one of the few parents I know who chose to not fill their kids heads with this lie, yet here I am accused of lying because the evidence is clear...there sits a fat man with a white beard and a "hairy" suit...and he is DEFINITELY not me. :)

Yep...didn't see that one coming.

How I am like The Clash

Apparently, we both 'Rock the Casbah".

While driving Noah to preschool last week, I hear a very contemplative voice say "mommy? You wemember dat day you got dat spwinter owt of my foot?" "Yes, Noah. Is your foot all better?" "Yeah. You wock, mommy. You wock the casbah."

I'll take that.

I fall in love almost daily.... :)

Tis the season

For busy-ness. Boy do I have a lot of work to do catching up and uploading my photos. I forgot just how busy this season can be when you are with extended family. It was busy before when it was just us and our church and friends, but now.... I have 4 nieces and a nephew who go to different schools, different churches...all in some sort of program (sometimes two or three) and you want to go to as many as you can and support the kids. This year we've already had 8! I'll get that up before the end of the month.

I am very encouraged. I have been on the upswing of late and have been hesitant to say much because my emotions are so much of a roller coaster. Up a few weeks, back down again. But this time has been longer and feels different somehow. I mentioned recently - he and his choices, life, existence has become insignificant to me. I don't find myself missing him, thinking about him, looking in the past, or even questioning why. I feel a sense of relief at that baggage finally being gone from my life, instead of longing and wishing for the distant past before the baggage. At knowing I don't have to always be holding him up emotionally, picking up his slack financially, fixing his messes, and waiting for the word that once again he has hurt me, betrayed me, let me down. And I've come to really realize and believe something...if I thought what I had with Rob was so wonderful WITH all that mess, then how spectacular will it be when I find someone who isn't emotionally crippled...someone who is capable of healthy intimacy? I thought I had honesty. How much better will REAL honesty be. I thought I had passion. How much better will REAL passion be? I'm kind of excited, to be honest. Now that I've experienced the fake of the last few years, I'll be able to recognize the real thing better.

So this "upswing" feels different. I think it's going to stick around. I'm feeling like "Lori" again...only better.

I suppose all of us have some rain to endure in this life in order for us to understand the grace and mercy of God. For some, it is suffering. We must experience loss, trial, tribulation...otherwise we may never understand His love and provision for us. For others, it is a pit. They have to explore the depths of depravity to understand God's love. If I have to be in one camp or the other, I'm glad it's the former one. Suffering, while painful, does not leave a path of devastation and destruction behind it like depravity does. Suffering scars, but not nearly as deeply as the self inflicted wounds of depravity. Suffering is usually personal. Depravity hurts many. Bridges destroyed or roads closed due to suffering can be rebuilt or reopened easier than those destroyed or closed due to depravity...because of the depth and breadth of the pain inflicted. I am realizing that, while I have lost much over the past 1.5 years, it is a lot less than he lost. And I believe my losses will be restored to a better state. His cannot be recovered.

Peace. Peace that passes all understanding. Unfathomable peace...is washing over me. Finally.

Jesus, I love you more than I can ever say.

December Astronomy

Don't know a lot, but always been facinated with astronomy...

The last couple of days have shown 2 very bright, clear, beautiful planets alongside the moon. It's been spectacular. What research I've done seems to conclude Mars and Saturn.

So very cool - at the top of my bucket list? A chance to go into space - to see the Earth from that vantage point.

And a date with Johnny Depp, Orlando Bloom, or George Clooney... ;)

Progress!

So, in my last blog I spoke of changes I've felt lead to engage in and was making excuses not to. I'm pleased to report progress - though small, it's still the correct direction and I can tell a difference.

While my prayer life has grown more frequent, fervent and ( I belive) more "correct" in the past year (as CS Lewis said about prayer: "I don't pray to change my circumstance...I pray to change me.") my reading of the Word has been lax. I've begun a ritual of carving out just 15 minutes each day - mainly in the mornings before I get ready, to read either the Bible or a book from a respected author on Christian living (I have several started). Here are some of the titles I'm currently muddling through:
Don't Waste Your Sorrows by paul Billheimer
The Freedom of Forgiveness by David Augsburger
Shattered Dreams by Larry Crabb
And waiting in the wings:
Pivotal Praying by John Hull and Tim Elmore
How to Read the Bible for All It's Worth by Gordon Fee and Douglas Stuart

I've noticed a marked improvement in my attitude and outlook with just this simple, small change.

I've also purposed to exercize a little each day. Even if it's only for 15 minutes to do the basics - sit ups, push ups, leg lifts, etc. I'm encouraged by the noticable difference in my strength and stamina in these areas even after just a couple of weeks. I will continue to add to the regimen and hopefully find a way to carve out at least 20-30 minutes of aerobic exercize as well...if not daily, at least 3-4 times per week.

The last couple of days, as I've prayed for the Lord to work true forgiveness in my heart (because I surely cannot forgive Rob in my own strength), I have felt some sort of release. These last 2 days are the first days that I've thought "I really don't care"...not in a giving up sense or a mean sense. I've just realized I'm actually getting to where I really, honestly do not care one iota about what he is doing...it is a non-factor in my life and in the lives of my kids. He is not a part of this...and all my family and friend connections are still intact so, really, what did I loose? Nothing but dreams and perceptions. And since they were based on deception, then they really aren't lost, either...just delayed until God shows me how they will now be fulfilled in a different and unexpected way.

Baby steps. As long as they are forward. God is so very faithful.
More later!